Before we will start our journey in the World of the Worst Things a Husband can say to his Wife, may I ask you a question?
Why are you and your husband mean to each other? Why do you hurt each other?
Words Really Do Hurt: The Worst Thing a Husband can say to his Wife
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can hurt you too, according to research.
The Study shows Words alone May Activate Pain Response in the Brain.
In a perfect world, families are full of love and laughter.
In real life, you may experience a lot of tension living together and trying to get along.
Somehow the two of you started to communicate together.
There was verbal chemistry, including both small talk and real talk.
You talked about hopes and dreams, family situations, frustration, and fears.
You asked questions and answered honestly.
You talked all night.
Can you still talk like that?
The Worst Thing a Husband can say to his Wife: in details
Sample list of more hurtful words
Ladies, let’s be honest.
We all have a list of things we are afraid to hear from our husbands. Some words hurt us more than others.
Selfish anger is often out of control. It’s destructive. It’s embarrassing.
Has your husband been angry with you lately?
Has your husband recently been raging for you? How did that turn out?
At the moment, do you still feel his anger?
How long does the feeling last?
We wish we could take it all back. It would be great if we could eliminate selfish anger altogether.
His love is gone
Maybe he just feels the lack of love from you.
But, for me, these words were so painful:
- I don’t love you anymore
- I never loved you anyway
- I don’t love you, I’ll never love you and I see no future with you
- I didn’t love you for many years, I just stayed with you so you wouldn’t kill yourself. I have also been cheating on you ever since we had our first child
- I’m in love with your best friend.
- I regret ever marrying you.
My husband hates me
How do you know that your husband hates you?
If you’re worried about how to find out about it…
Oh, don’t worry my dear, he’ll tell you something like this:
- I hate you.
- I don’t hate you, I’m just done with you.
- You disgust me.
- Your ex was right
- What was I thinking when getting involved with you?
- You are just a failure.
- You’re not all that. I lied.
- Are you done?
- I deserve better than you.
- You are worthless to me now.
He insults you
- You are so stupid.
- I’m so disappointed in you.
- You are an embarrassment.
- You are a disgrace.
- Don’t flatter yourself
- Don’t be fooled.
- You have issues
- I’m tired of your sh!t.
- Lazy b$tch.
- Dirty pig
- Hysterical, You are just like every other woman.
- That’s not very ladylike
- You are too sensitive
- You are just being dramatic
- Calm down. You’re being emotional.
- You’re overreacting.
- You are pathetic.
- Shut up!
My husband points out everything I do wrong
- Do you think you can do better than me? Lol
- You try, you’re just not it.
- You don’t know what you’re talking about.
- You’re not good at anything
- You do anything
- Nothing you do makes sense
- I honestly don’t give a f*ck.
- Can you do something right for once?
- Didn’t we just have this same thing for dinner last week?
- Let me know when your ‘creative cooking’ kick is over.
- You know, these mugs you bought don’t fit in the dishwasher?.
- Two hundred channels and this is what you’re watching?
- Actually, I’m not really hungry. I had a late lunch. I had to go over a proposal with Amber from marketing
- You never, ever put the top back on the toothpaste. It’s really unbelievable
When your partner compares you to others
- Why can’t you be more like ________ (first name of his friend’s wife)?
- Why can’t we be fun like ____________ (last name of your neighbors?)
- You’re not my mother!
- My ex was a lot more ______ (do something) than you.
- You’re just like your mother.
- I’d rather eat sand than spend one more day with you.
- That’s not very ladylike
- Don’t flatter yourself
- I’m a man, you’ve gotta respect me.
- Your way is not really wrong, but my mom used to do it this way.
When your husband insults your looks
- You are fatty
- You are a fat pig
- You are a cow
- You’re gonna eat all that?
- You are Midget
- You are Too Tall
- You look for your age.
- Act your age
- Who will want you now?
- Are you sure you want to wear that?
- You shouldn’t wear so much makeup
- I’m thinking you need to wear a little more makeup.
- Did you see the new women’s fitness center that just opened down the street?
- Did you really need another pair of shoes?
- How old was your mother when she started going gray?
- What happened to your skinny jeans?
- How much was that haircut again?
The worst thing he says to you in bed
So what’s up tonight?
Are you too tired, too distracted or too convulsive,
Or are you just having a regular ten o’clock headache?
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Examples of toxic criticism in relationships
I am disappointed in you.
You can’t even do one thing to make me happy.
YOU are nothing. YOU have nothing. YOU will be nothing.
What to do when your husband hates and insults you
First, it is important to understand one thing:
Some people have psychological issues and have trouble controlling their anger and their actions.
If your husband grew up in a home where people weren’t nice to each other, and this is how he learned to behave.
But that doesn’t mean that everybody that experiences abuse, treats others that way.
There are many other factors that may contribute to bad husband behavior
- Previous Family breakdown
- Lack of social support
- Money problems
- Mental health problem
- Alcohol or drug abuse
In many cases, the husband’s aggressive behavior is about jealousy or power and control.
A violent person may feel angry, powerless, or put down, and feel like other people are laughing at him.
Instead of facing these emotional challenges and working things out or getting help, your husband may react with anger or by trying to take control of others at home.
He can also relieve stress by yelling insults, starting a fight, humiliating you, or forcing you into sexual activity.
No one has a right to hurt anyone else, ever, anywhere.
My husband argues with everything I say
Constant arguments are the agony of marriage.
Your husband fights with you every day and it hurts you.
So often couples bring opposite needs and expectations to their relationship. Drastic incompatibilities clash disastrously delivering devastating and divisive disharmony.
What to do if your husband argues with everything you say?
You like coffee; he likes tea. He prefers action movies; you like romantic comedies. You want a beach vacation; he wants to take you to a country club.
It’s enough to make you stay single your entire life.
Yes, I know there are different viewpoints and requirements in most marriage relationships. Some might even seem to be deal breakers. But most are not. Most can and should be worked out. And that’s the point.
Is there a debate about who makes the bed? It’s the last person up.
Do you really argue over crunchy vs. creamy peanut butter? Buy two jars.
You get ticked when he leaves the cap off the toothpaste. Is it really that big a deal?
You prefer Italian food and he prefers Mexican?
You probably don’t need to hire an attorney to negotiate the details of that peace accord.
This is not rocket science, people.
You married each other for better or worse.
Differences may be spices of marriage.
Your differences were the reason you got married in the first place.
What you can’t do, he can. And vice versa.
You complete each other.
The most building block of love is communication.
It may have been easy, it may have been awkward.
You could quite easily start a petty argument during every conversation you ever have with your husband. And that petty argument could easily escalate into a barrage of words and accusations that are not even true.
And that barrage of words and accusations could easily escalate into several days of silence and cold stares.
And those days of silence and cold stares could easily escalate into threats of ripping the family apart.
Am I out of line? In some cases, that’s exactly how a marriage falls apart. It’s not one big thing. It’s an exhausting and divisive avalanche of little, hurtful, inconsiderate words and actions.
So again—don’t go there.
When those snappy little retorts, complaints, or innuendos pop into your head, leave them there. Just say no. Don’t allow any of those potential fighting words to reach your tongue. Disaster averted.
Now here’s the real experiment. For the next three days, say nice things to your husband each day. I’ll let you make your own list.
Let me know how it goes.