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I am terribly sorry. 

It looks like Your Marriage Is Failing (if  you  are reading  this)

I was in the same position three years ago.

Let’s face it.

You will go through the breakup; fighting for your kids and your financial rights, sometimes feeling residual anger and emotional devastation; for the most part without sex and money. 

Modern-day divorce looks like 

Don’t expect the justice system to care about you.

You are the one who must make the decisions in your divorce because you are the one who will have to live with them. 

One of the most costly illusions in divorce is the idea that the judicial system will protect your rights and meet your needs. 

You cannot allow yourself to make this assumption and it helps you save a lot of money.

Of course, you need an arsenal of solid information aimed at getting you through.

You need to use attorneys and other professionals can help you understand your rights during divorce.

 

Don’t say you’re broke and you don’t have any money.

Even without money, you need help

Consider borrowing money, holding a garage sale, or taking a short-term second job to get some money to pay legal fees.

Looking for a free divorce consultation

Check with local libraries, churches, community organizations,  or government agencies for low-cost services. In some regions, divorce specialists and centers can provide advice for a modest fee.

As an inexpensive alternative, see whether a local law school or bar association has a divorce clinic where law students can assist you. 

Ask your friends, perhaps their uncle or cousin who works as a lawyer and will give you a free divorce consultation over a cup of coffee. At least he will be able to answer some questions.

In some cases, your spouse may have to pay all or some of your lawyer’s fees.

For now, don’t count on it too much.

You may get this money only after a court decision.

In a divorce, everything hangs out for a very long time and is a lot more expensive than you are originally expecting.

 

By the way, do not let your spouse’s attorney or anyone else chosen by your spouse be the one to represent you.

If your spouse is represented by an attorney, you should be also. One attorney cannot represent both parties in a divorce action.

Money does matter, but in law we trust

Put your financial concerns at the center of your divorce, and work within the framework of the law. That is the most powerful position you can take. 

If you think financially and act legally, you will be in a position to anticipate risks and assess your needs before a financial disaster occurs.

Choosing the right attorney is one of the most important decisions you will make. The right lawyer can help you achieve financial security as well as ease the strain of the divorce process. But the wrong lawyer can add to your woes.

You need to find the one that’s right for you.

You may also call a variety of specialists ranging from financial consultants to real estate agents, credit counselors to appraisers. Try to get some information during your calls. 

And it’s a FREE

 Your future is at stake, don’t cheat yourself — get the best you can afford

 

You need to use attorneys and other professionals can help you understand your rights during divorce.

Can you get a free divorce consultation from a divorce lawyer?

You need to “check with a lawyer” about various things. I say that because the particular circumstances of your divorce may require further legal information. 

However, who wants to pay for this expensive legal advice? 

Some lawyers may offer an initial free consultation for your divorce needs. This could be a phone conversation.  

What you need to understand during this consultation, a divorce lawyer will be figuring out, how much money his office can make from your divorce. 

Usually, high-quality professionals do not do free consultations. But attending a short consultation with an attorney should not ruin you. 

 Remember, the money you spend now on a lawyer consultation will pay off with interest and help you win the entire trial

Feel free to call as many law offices as possible. 

Feel free to ask a lot of questions.

Organize your thoughts and questions before you seek legal advice so you can save time when the attorney’s meter is running. At an initial visit, spend an hour—not a day. Then go home and think about how much more you may have to spend on an attorney.  

Put your financial concerns at the center of your divorce, and work within the framework of the law. That is the most powerful position you can take. 

If you think financially and act legally, you will be in a position to anticipate risks and assess your needs before a financial disaster occurs.

Choosing a Divorce Lawyer

Choosing the right attorney is one of the most important decisions you will make. The right lawyer can help you achieve financial security as well as ease the strain of the divorce process. But the wrong lawyer can add to your woes. 

 Don’t forget that what seems free today can be very expensive going forward.

Attorney Violet Woodhouse in her brilliant book  “Divorce & Money”  suggests:

 Take the time and make the effort to choose a lawyer who is strong and experienced, yet sensitive to your needs. You need to resist the urge to quickly choose a lawyer just because a friend or relative says “so-and-so is good.” Instead, interview at least three lawyers and compare them using the following criteria: 

Knowledge and experience in family law

An attorney who’s practiced for five years or more and whose practice is completely or primarily devoted to matrimonial law would be ideal. In addition, ask how much courtroom experience the attorney has, and how many contested custody cases the attorney has handled. 

Interest in your case

Does the lawyer seem interested and excited, or bored and preoccupied? A divorce case tests any lawyer’s zest for facts and details. You want someone who seems energized and up to the challenge. 

Availability of a team

Does the attorney have the assistance of other lawyers and paralegals? Particularly in a complex case, the lawyer may need backup. You might ask how many others in the firm handle divorce cases and ask to meet with them as well. Similarly, because divorce cases often involve other fields of law—such as real estate, taxes, trusts, and the like—you should ask whether the firm has other attorney resources available for consultation if needed. 

Reasoned strategy

All legal cases involve a plan of action that’s based on goals on which the lawyer and client concur. After you explain your situation, ask the prospective: What results can I reasonably expect? How will we achieve those results? How will we decide whether to try the case or settle? If we do try the case, how much will that cost? 

Empathy

Ask yourself: What’s my gut feeling about this person? Charm is no substitute for competence. But you are going to be spending lots of time with your attorney, so you’ll need a certain comfort level. Look for a lawyer who is pleasant but also confident and assertive. 

In short, you want a lawyer who is going to solve problems, not create them. To get such an able advocate means you need to choose well, not necessarily quickly or cheaply. Take your time and be thorough. 

You can also check if you can do it all by yourself

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The Ugly Truth About DIVORCE ATTORNEY FOR WOMEN