Okay, it’s about How to keep YOUR husband sexually satisfied.
Clearly, something is not right about your personal life.
Let me get this straight. How do you like him?
How are you feeling?
What’s going on in your bedroom?
Women’s Top Complaints about relations
In addition to the obvious issues—“He loses his erections at the worst times” and “He ejaculates prematurely”— I hear several complaints repeatedly from you, Ladies.
What follows is a list of their top ten and a brief discussion of each complaint.
“He wants sex when I’m not in the mood.”
Men usually want to have sex more often than women.
Husbands expect their wives will do so upon request.
This is a very sensitive issue because respect and consideration should be the top priority for anyone in an intimate relationship.
A smart woman might consider doing everything possible to enable her man to exercise his penis power.
Of course, there are times when it is appropriate to say NO; only a Neanderthal would not understand that.
In the same way, there are times when it is appropriate to say yes, even if you are not in the mood or would prefer to do something else.
Compromise is the key to a good relationship. It’s true about sex, like other things.
If he is willing to give in on issues that concern you, why consider it sexist or explosive if you give in sexually from time to time? It is a matter of negotiation.
Speak openly about why you are feeling
If your man expresses his sexual desire and you are not ready to cater to his needs, talk openly about your feelings.
This is especially important if the reasons for not having sex are emotionally or somehow related to issues in your relationship.
Discussing all issues openly is the key.
Every couple has to work out their own ground rules.
In general, my point of view is that a woman who wants a happy, healthy man will try to be there for him whenever and wherever he wants her.
You will be the ultimate beneficiary of your generosity.
“Sometimes he turns me down when I want him.”
A lot of men find a sexually aggressive woman a “Big Turn-On”.
They love it when a woman initiates sex, and they love being seduced.
It is also true that a woman with too much aggression may threaten a man.
It is important to balance this.
Let him know you want him, but don’t come so hard he feels intimidated.
Sure, some men dislike it when women initiate sex.
Conservative men feel this way for what I believe to be ridiculous
and outdated ideological reasons: they feel it is a man’s place to “get things rolling.”
Others simply interpret a woman’s assertiveness as demanding.
I recommend you test every weapon in your arsenal. If he keeps being a reluctant lover, it could be a sign of deeper trouble in the relationship.
Of course, his hesitancy might also be due to something completely irrelevant to your seduction or relationship.
He might be too busy to think about sex or stressed by work.
But, just between us, no man should be too busy to make love to his wife.
If you are in a relationship with a man like this, try what his business partners do when they want his attention: make an appointment.
Tell him you want to reserve time to dedicate yourself completely to love.
Rent a hotel room near his office if you must. What a way to re-ignite romance!
“He’s so businesslike when we make love!”
It is commonly said that once a man with a hard penis reaches a certain point of arousal, he loses not only his reason, but also his sense of humor, his vocal cords, and any semblance of refinement.
When a man is sexually charged and ready to go, his animal instincts take over.
To a man who is sexually charged, all that matters is ejaculating in a warm hole.
Gone is the playfulness, the passion of the ardent lover, the sweet words, the grace, and the charm. He is suddenly a mute, while at the same time he is wild and flailing.
The truth is, if you are looking for a lover with the elegance of Pierce Brosnan and the smoothness of James Bond, you might have to rethink your expectations.
If you want a more playful man, one who can laugh and have fun while making love instead of taking it so seriously, then you have a better chance of making some changes in your man.
Many men get overly serious because they are nervous about their performance. They are afraid that if they lighten up, they might lose their desire or their erection.
You might be able to lead the way to laughter by taking the initiative and making him feel as comfortable as possible.
As for whispering in your ear and telling you, he loves you, if you do it first and he cannot return the sentiment, have a talk with him after you make love. It is hard to teach passion and romance, but a satisfied man might be willing to work on his manners.
On the whole, women often have to accept the fact that some men are all business when they are sexually aroused.
For these men, sex is the ultimate test of goal-oriented behavior. You have to assess for yourself which of your man’s traits you have a chance of changing and which ones you will have to learn to accept.
“Sometimes he does things that hurt me.”
Sex should always provide mutual pleasure, not pain.
I hear two kinds of complaints from women on that. One is awkward or brutal behavior during sex: “He bites my nipples like they are cookies,” “He rams his fingers in my vagina like a battering pole,” or “He rubs my clitoris like he is polishing his car.”
Men in the throes of sexual passion sometimes lose their sensibilities to lust, and they can become insensitive to their partner’s physical and emotional feelings.
In addition, some men develop crude and clumsy habits when they first start having sex, and unfortunately, nobody has ever smoothed out those rough spots.
A man might simply be uninformed sexually. He might actually think you like what he is doing.
He may have known women who did like it. You absolutely must let him know that he is hurting you. If you can possibly help it, avoid getting angry.
Do not let his missteps ruin the experience for you.
Tell him gently so he does not take it as criticism or a sign of failure. Hopefully, he will make the appropriate changes.
If he continues to ignore your requests and behaves essentially after you talk to him, and if you choose not to end the relationship, then a more serious reprimanding is appropriate.
Any woman who finds herself in a sexually abusive relationship
should either seek counseling or
distance herself from the man until he makes a major change in his behavior.
The other kind of pain occurs during intercourse and includes too much internal friction (which might be solved by a vaginal lubricant), thrusting too hard against the pubic bone, yanking, or twisting the body in an awkward manner, and leaning his weight on a tender spot.
In each case, you have to help him change his habits.
Communication and experimentation are the best solutions for working out the intricate details of any sexual relationship.
“He wants me to do things I find distasteful.”
Both of you should respect each other’s limitations and uphold each other’s values.
Establishing personal boundaries is essential for any intimate relationship to be fulfilling for both partners.
Unless he’s forcing you to do something painful or dangerous, you might want to ask yourself if you are being too prudish.
It comes as no surprise that many women complain that their partners expect them to perform oral sex, which they find abhorrent.
If you are one of those women, you should not feel ashamed of your reluctance to take his penis in your mouth. On the other hand, you should examine the source of your resistance—there is nothing inherently dangerous, dirty, or evil about oral sex.
Many women find it extremely stimulating, especially if they are madly in love with their partners and enjoy bringing them pleasure.
Perhaps your problem is not so much having a penis in your mouth, but the possibility of swallowing semen. If so, you might have to negotiate with your man.
Offer to do it only until he is ready to ejaculate. While many men find it incredibly exciting to climax in their partner’s mouths, you might be able to work out a compromise. There is also no rule that says you have to swallow his semen; you can spit it out just as easily.
You should also know that medically speaking, there is no danger in swallowing semen unless it is infected.
Semen is the most vital fluid in the male body. Without it, human life would be extinct. Ingesting semen does not produce negative side effects.
For the most part, it is simply a matter of taste. Perhaps medical science will find ways of altering the flavor of semen, making it more palatable to women who have an aversion to it.
If there are other things besides oral sex that your husband is demanding from you that you find distasteful, such as anal sex, uncomfortable or awkward positions, or sex in strange places or at awkward times, then the best solution is to communicate your aversion to his requests.
After speaking openly about your feelings, he will hopefully be willing to change of his own accord. If he is unwilling or persists, you may want to seek professional counseling to work through your differences.
“My husband knows only the missionary position.”
The simple solution to these issues is to educate him!
In a gentle way, let him know that you enjoy being intimate with him so much that you would like to savor the experience by slowing down and making each moment last.
You can even ask him, “What’s the rush?”
Teach him that an extra few minutes of loving foreplay
or passionate intercourse will bring both of you heightened pleasure.
Keep in mind that sometimes every man acts as if he is in a race to ejaculate. Sometimes men are simply overcome by a physical need, and their instincts take over, even if their minds are screaming, “Slow down!”
If such occurrences are the exception and not the rule, you should be able to tolerate them from time to time, even if it means that only one of you leaves the bed satisfied.
This does not mean you should tolerate rude or thoughtless behavior.
If the “quickie” is the norm all of the time, then communicating your frustration by asking him to be more considerate of your needs and modify his in-bed behavior can be the best way to initiate change.
Try new things, if your man has a limited imagination. Make explicit suggestions. If that does not work, try nonverbal communication—take the bull by the horns and maneuver creatively until you make him an offer he cannot refuse.
“He won’t let me touch his penis..”
This is not a common problem. When it does happen, it can be both difficult and saddening. For a woman who wants to express her affection by caressing her loved one, it can be terribly unpleasant to have her hand pushed aside or be told “No!”
It occurs most often in new relationships and usually stems from one of two things:
the man is afraid of premature ejaculation or
he has an abnormal, deep-rooted fear of being touched.
The first scenario is easier to deal with and usually improves as soon as the man feels secure in his performance. The second scenario is more intractable and takes patience to overcome.
Take gradual steps to make him comfortable with the idea of being fondled. The longest journey begins with the first step.
Instead of grabbing his penis, start by stroking it with one finger for a short amount of time or rubbing it with your thigh or arm, and work your way gradually to normal manual stimulation.
Treat his reluctant penis with gentle kid gloves until his fears dissipate.
“Sometimes he annoys me so much I cannot bring myself to have sex with him, even though I’m feeling sexual.”
Every couple has their run of conflicts and problems, and everyone has their own set of pet peeves that sometimes drive them crazy.
The secret to making an intimate relationship last is to find a way to ignore the things you cannot change.
To be blunt, get over it—even if it is for no other reason than to satisfy yourself.
If there is a deep and serious rift in the relationship, by all means, work it out, either privately or with a counselor.
If your relationship is getting thrown off track by the normal, run-of-the-mill irritations that affect every relationship, then do yourself a favor: do not let that get in the way of sex.
If you do, not only will both of you end up frustrated, but you will be neglecting the best solution to your problem.
I am reminded of Sutton’s Law.
When the infamous bank robber Willie Sutton was asked why he robbed banks, he replied, “Because that’s where the money is.”
Happy Sex Life Law states: “Satisfy your man’s penis because that’s where his soul is.”
After a good roll in the hay, you will have worked off that frustration, you will feel relaxed, and your man will be much more amenable to sympathizing with your grievances and working toward a resolution.
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